Tuesday, 15 August 2017
🖤 Poppy 100WC T3W4 🖤
“A Achoooooooooooo” Timmy the sea lion burst out laughing because Bob the sea lion had sneezed his fish out he had just eaten. “Eww that's disgusting” said Mary the sea lion, the other two sea lions burst out laughing again at Mary’s comment. Then along came Mama sea lion and all the three stopped and stood still, “what on earth is going on here” Mama said, Bob explained everything then Mama burst out with laughter. “WHAT IS SO FUNNY!?” a voice from behind all of them yelled, they all turned around to see Daddy sea lion was at the door.
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Creative story Poppy! I really liked the how you started with 'A Achooo' to start so it gets the reader hooked and they want to read more. Next time try and make it more interesting.
ReplyDeleteNatasha