I was bathing in the sun then suddenly it went dark. I looked up to the sky but I couldn't see anything, something was blinding my eyes and that something was the eclipse. Even putting on my dark sunglasses I still couldn’t see. I took a photo, but the photo was just a bright blurb in the sky. Is this where the sun is going to blow up the earth. Well that’s not good. Maybe I’ll just take a walk down the road and be free before I die. Then it disappeared I yelled out, “well that was nothing”.
I like the storyline, but you could work on adding more words and punctuation to parts like 'then it disappeared I yelled out' and 'is this some kind of thing where the sun is going to blow up the earth.'
ReplyDeleteI like the storyline and how it shows the recent eclipse. I cant think of much you could improve on.
ReplyDeleteI like the story line and the picture you added. Next time make sure you read over your story and look for any punctuation.
ReplyDeleteSam