Wednesday 30 August 2017

100WC T3W6

One beautiful, fine day
I saw a cat that was a stray
It was limping from head to paw
And right next to it was a bright blue straw
The cat looked very hurt
So it was trying to stay alert
That’s when I felt so sad
And it occurred to me that people can be so bad
I then accidentally made a sound
As the cat turned around
It looked very brown
Then.
All it did was run after me
Like it was a catfish out of the sea
I finally made a mark

Then suddenly it went dark

5 comments:

  1. Well Done Natasha, this is really good I love how you did a poem and included rhyme and also lots descriptive words. But was a little confused as to what happened at the end.
    Sam

    ReplyDelete
  2. It was a bit confusing and you could of linked words better. It was really good story though.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I really like your story because it had a good story line. I think you need to put some more descriptive words into it because some of the words were a bit ordinary...

    ReplyDelete
  4. I really like how you made it rhyme, but some parts didn't make much sense, like 'And right next to it was a bright blue straw' and 'it looked very brown'.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nice story Tash! Loved the rhyming words and the poem idea.
    I wasn't sure what happened at the end though.....

    ReplyDelete

I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .

I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .