One turbulent night I was riding home on my cycle, the gust of wind hitting my face hard. Rain pouring down on my clothes making them soggy, and the moon was nowhere to be seen because of the heavy clouds in the pitch-black sky. Then all of a sudden... the person looked different somehow. The hood of the un-coloured hoodie was right on his face so I couldn’t see any features of his face. He just stood right in front of me, he hands stuck out and a blinding light came straight for me. But then the flash made me...
Tuesday 1 August 2017
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I really liked the way you created suspense in such a short story because that is hard to do. I think you need to look at some of your sentence structures because some don't quite make sense. For example - Rain pouring down - should be Rain poured down . . .
ReplyDeleteI really liked the adjectives you used to describe the storm but maybe next time you write you could work on making your sentences making more sense, like the one about the person looking different.
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