Monday, 21 August 2017
Max T3W5
One day Jim and I decided to go to Africa because they thought it would be cool to see all of the wild animals roaming around. So that day Jim and I hoped on the plane to Africa. The next day Jim and I went to explore the wild but that was a bad idea because that was the lions feeding time. While Jim and I were looking around we saw some lions but then the lions started rushing towards us and as it was rushing towards us we jumped in the car and drove away and never came back.
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Good story Max! I liked how you used some adjectives. Where is your sentence? and also next time try and put some detail into your story instead of just going straight into it like 'one day I decided to go to Africa' that sentence doesn't really hook the reader in.
ReplyDeleteNatasha