Tuesday 1 August 2017

Emma 100WC T3W2

Suddenly a tiny green coloured sphere darted in front of my face. I blinked, and staggered back when it flew nearer. Then it started following me so I swatted it with my hand and it fell onto the ground. Then I stared because it was growing quickly. Soon it was huge. It floated up and something I recognised fell out of a hole somewhere on it. The bomb exploded and I tried to run away but then the flash made me blind for a few seconds. I heard a high voice yelling, “It didn’t work, retreat!” And it suddenly disappeared.

1 comment:

  1. I loved your vocabulary like darted and swatted.
    Perhaps next time you could put in more interesting sentence starters not like: Then, it, the.
    Alice

    ReplyDelete

I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .

I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .