I’m sitting there eating my yummy fish in peace when I hear a noise. It's not like any noise I've heard before. There's something moving. Now I'm a curious seal so I edge forward cautiously. The creature steps out into clear view and I finally see its whole body. I start to crack up. This creature is so bright almost blinding against the white landscape. I laugh so hard I roll around and they can see my double chin. Suddenly there's a click and a flash. Very entertaining. I like this thing, I’m going to call it a zib.
Wednesday, 16 August 2017
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Good story Charlie, I really liked the use of or different words like 'cautiously' . But next time check your grammar, like after a full stop comes a space and and when you use a 'I' in a sentence then it is a capital.
ReplyDeleteNatasha
Love your story line and your describing words like blinding white landscape also your sentence lengths.
ReplyDeleteNext time maybe you could use a variety of sentence starters.
Alice B
Love the name Zib :")
ReplyDeleteDon't forget your capital I's
Poppy :)
Great story Charlie, I liked how you described things like eating my yummy fish not just fish. Next time just proof read a little more because i found a few mistakes like it not like any noise instead of it's
ReplyDeleteSam