Sunday 13 August 2017

Corbin 100WC T3W4

I was sitting there just laughing at Jeff while bathing in the sun. I felt so creamy and delicious just  if Jeff would shut up and be quiet for once. I had a fresh warm blanket of leaves smooth like moisturizer. Jeff bounded up onto my snuggly blanket and pushed me off, I was so bitter, I bounded back up onto him and punched him right in the gut’s “ that’s payback for pushing me off and taking my bathing place ” Jeff was down rolling on the ground I just yelled “ tough luck Jeff it’s my place up here I’m the king ”.

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4 comments:

  1. Anonymous17 August 2017 at 19:42

    Perhaps you could add more of the fact that the seal was doing that

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous17 August 2017 at 19:51

      I told you in the story that me the seal yelled at jeff for taking my place

      Delete
  2. Anonymous17 August 2017 at 19:43

    I really liked your story, it was descriptive. Think about adding more variety of sentences.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous17 August 2017 at 19:59

    Good story liked your use of apostrophes and commas. Same work on as ashton.
    Nice work.

    ReplyDelete

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