Thursday 22 June 2017

Ryan


Once upon a time lived a boy called James who was 11 years old, he had two parents called Tanya and Jim . Sadly they were very poor same with everyone in his town. James parents only just got by the rent. James best friend Tim is very poor to, they are so poor they have never had a lollie called a Jaffaa. One dad Tanya went and got a bag of Jaffas for James but James new he had to go share it with his best friend Tim and that’s what he did. After that day they both became BFF’s.

No comments:

Post a Comment

I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .

I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .