Fred, george and Harry thought it would be a cracker of an idea to unwrap this giant cream egg. Then it rolled off the table splatting and gushing out creamy deliciousness causing a safety hazard requiring safety cones. George decided to climb up into the centre of the creamy egg and harry couldn't resist the temptation to taste the luscious egg. This causing him to get stuck and Fred laughing his head off, But while Fred was laughing and Harry had his hand stuck George was sinking into the gooeyness. As soon as Fred stopped laughing he realised something.
Great work Corbin! I really loved your use of humour and how you turned the builders into the characters of the story. Your story really tells the tale of the picture and the use of a cliffhanger at the end was very clever.
ReplyDeleteGood grammar and structure, though do remember to use a capital letter at the start of all the names.
Keep up the good work, well done!