Tuesday 7 November 2017

Madison

I had just gone for dinner with my friends Kylie
and Samantha. I had heard someone call my
name as I was walking to my car. I turned around
but there was no one there. So  I kept on walking.
Then I saw something zoom past me. I looked to
see what it could be but there was nothing there.
I blinked to make sure that I wasn’t dreaming but
when I opened my eyes there was people all
around me. I blinked again and they were
all gone. Was I going crazy or was there
ghosts all around me?

7 comments:

  1. I really liked your story line and the way you thought outside of the box.

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  2. I really like your story how you've used lots of describing words.

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  3. I like how you ending your story with a question. Maybe during the beginning you should use a hook to hook me in.

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  4. Hi Madison -

    I really enjoyed your piece. I could imagine the scenario you described vividly and I like your ending. Keep writing.
    Sudha

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  5. Hi Maddie
    I really liked how you ended your story with a question.
    Maybe try using some different sentence starters to help improve your writing.

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  6. Nice work! I really liked how you created suspense in your writing. Next time maybe include a few more descriptive words.

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  7. Nice ending Madison it makes you think if it's ghosts or are you going crazy. But maybe next time add more descriptive words to make it more interesting.

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