Today is the best day ever, I know it will be! Dad has organised a party to get together with mates and family. We have got this place buy the river so we can go swimming,biscuiting and boating in it and there will be hot flames for roasting delicious marshmallows until they become a gooey white colour. Our friends would of probably celebrated so hard they had to stay not wanting tomorrow to come. Plus there will be wicked fireworks booming in the sky annoying the dog. I can’t wait for this party to start of with a bang!
Wednesday, 1 November 2017
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Good story Bradley! I like your descriptions.Try to, make all your sentences make sense and check you've used the right word,'by the river.'
ReplyDeleteGreat story Bradley! love the discretion remember just to fix up sentences like "buy the river" to "by the river" :)
ReplyDeleteI really like how you used exclamation marks in places like 'I know it will be' and 'start with a bang' to make it more interesting. Next time you could make sure there are spaces after commas in places like 'we can go swimming,biscuiting and boating'.
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