Today we are celebrating my little sister's birthday. Last year on her birthday we went swimming at the beach. I remember that birthday because she couldn't blow out the candles. It was really fun just like this birthday. Her birthdays always got better every time and always were better than mine. My parents birthdays were always the worst though, they never did anything except talk. I think birthdays get more boring when you get older so when you're young make the most of your birthday parties and have fun. When you get older you should relax at your birthdays though.
Thursday, 2 November 2017
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Nice story James but maybe next time you could explain why your sister couldn't blow out the candles
ReplyDeleteGood job I really liked how you had a moral to your story. Next time make sure you don't repeat one word numerous times Eg: you said birthday 9 times almost 10% of your writing. But Nice work.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you added great humor to your story, about your sister blowing out candles. Just make sure you sentences make sense. Eg "Her birthdays always got better every time and always were better than mine."
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