Tuesday 14 November 2017

100wc T4 W5 rosie

Your mum will kill us. Lulu we’ve done this a million times, what’s the worst that could happen? Oh my goodness i’m so excited sleepovers are great fun but Think like sleepovers are much more fun. Yes but Eva all the lollies we got so many, oh the trouble we’ll get into! Oh calm down Lulu don’t worry about it. Ok but where will we hide it all? Surely we can put in a bag or something and sneak it into your bed. Oh hi mum! Hi Lisa me and Eva where just talking about our sleepover, Nothing much planned.

5 comments:

  1. I like your story line, maybe next time remember your punctuation.

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  2. Good little story Rosie! I like how you made the characters mischievous which told us a little bit about their personalities. Next time maybe remember your punctuation. Like in 'I'm' there is a capital 'I', and in the middle of a sentence doesn't come a capital letter, and after 'yes' there should be a comma. After a comma is not a capital letter that's after a full stop. And your whole story was based on speech and people talking. So where someone is talking there should be speech marks. But other than those little errors, great little story!

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  3. Great story! I liked how you made the characters a little naughty. Next time make sure you don't have capital letters in the middle of your sentences eg: great fun but Think like sleepovers.

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  4. I really liked your story! I especially liked the storyline and how you used the characters different to other people. Maybe next time remember your punctuation.

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  5. Great job Rosie! I liked how you started off your story very interesting but maybe next time remember your punctuation.

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