Tuesday, 7 November 2017


I had just gone for dinner with my friends Kylie
and Samantha. I had heard someone call my
name as I was walking to my car. I turned around
but there was no one there. So  I kept on walking.
Then I saw something zoom past me. I looked to
see what it could be but there was nothing there.
I blinked to make sure that I wasn’t dreaming but
when I opened my eyes there was people all
around me. I blinked again and they were
all gone. Was I going crazy or was there
ghosts all around me?


  1. I really liked your story line and the way you thought outside of the box.

  2. I really like your story how you've used lots of describing words.

  3. I like how you ending your story with a question. Maybe during the beginning you should use a hook to hook me in.

  4. Hi Madison -

    I really enjoyed your piece. I could imagine the scenario you described vividly and I like your ending. Keep writing.

  5. Hi Maddie
    I really liked how you ended your story with a question.
    Maybe try using some different sentence starters to help improve your writing.

  6. Nice work! I really liked how you created suspense in your writing. Next time maybe include a few more descriptive words.

  7. Nice ending Madison it makes you think if it's ghosts or are you going crazy. But maybe next time add more descriptive words to make it more interesting.


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