An inky night shielded itself over the town's square. Only the radiance from shops glared into the cobbled streets, while residents, distant and near, wondered around searching the new shops. But today there seemed to be a smoky look in the air. It wasn't until later I realized I lost my hat and it was then that things started to go unearthly bad! White spots had now started to form in the sky and It had even started to get dark which was sort of weird because it was only five 'o' clock. I decided to get out of the weird circumstances so I ducked into an alleyway, then all of a sudden everything went black.
Monday, 6 November 2017
2 comments:
I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .
I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Great story Connor, really good language like inky night, maybe next time maybe don't leave them on such a dead ending.
ReplyDeleteNice Story. I like how you used heaps of adjectives to describe simple stuff. Like 'and inky night' and cobbled streets' and 'smoky look' and I also liked how to ended the story with a hooking sentence so the reader wants to read more. I think next time you could add more detail to the story as to what the object was or even give some hints.
ReplyDelete