“What do you think?” Ted’s friend, Joe, had put on his ghost costume and was showing it to Ted.
“It’s stupid, ghosts aren’t even real!” Replied Ted, and Joe stormed away.
The next day was Halloween. Ted didn’t celebrate it, and just went for a walk in London. While he was walking he suddenly felt like someone was behind him. He turned around, and nearly had a heart attack. There was a ghost standing there!
“Are you sure we’re not real?” Asked the ghost smugly. Ted looked around himself in a panic and realised everyone around him was a ghost.
Nice story Emma I like how you put dialogue in your story maybe instead of a coma at the start of the story after friend put a dash.
ReplyDeleteGood Job Emma I also liked the dialogue effect into the story! Maybe next time use some more descriptive language.
ReplyDeleteNice story, I liked how you descriptive language like 'smugly' and 'heart attack', I also liked how you split your story into paragraphs which is different to everyone and how you used some dialogue. Your ending sentence is great! Maybe if you added some more detail to that like 'Ted's heart was beating fast as he gradually his head to a huge surprise, the THINGS that surrounded him were all ghosts!'
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story! I especially liked the descriptive language you used and also how you added paragraphs into your story.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story. Next time use more descriptive words.
ReplyDeleteGreat Story Emma! I really loved you twist at the end and some of your vocabulary.
ReplyDeleteGood work! I loved how you started off your writing with dialogue, next time maybe use some more descriptive words. But overall a great story!
ReplyDeleteNice story Emma maybe next time use more descriptive words
ReplyDeleteBut from that it's good.