Tuesday 7 November 2017

šŸ–¤ Poppy's 100WC T4W4 šŸ–¤


I’m in ghost town, I don't know how I got here and I don't know anyone here, the only person that could be here is Mum, she died when my twin and I were 3, I'm not sure where to find her. I asked a few people but they said no. I walked up to a weird screen and I saw it right there, the answer I've been looking for, I tapped the screen and appeared my siblings and dad sitting in the waiting room at the hospital, I went into one of the rooms and there laid on the bed was me.

2 comments:

  1. Good Story Poppy, I liked how you left some suspense for the reader and some parts where the reader could use their imagination to think of what could be happening. But I think I was a little bit confusing and you need to add more detail. Maybe add like where she is, what screen did she tap to come up with that image?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I really liked your story! I especially liked how you hooked the reader in right until the end. Maybe next time you could add like where she is.

    ReplyDelete

I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .

I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .