Monday 20 November 2017

Ashton 100WC T4 W6

"RUN!" I heard a grown man scream, I didn't know what he was doing but I soon realised that he was on to something. I could see a dark shape emerging form around a corner. Then the shape started running and I soon became aware he was running at me with something in his hand, so my instinct decision was to run and so I did that like It was the last thing I would do before I died. I could hear closing footsteps so I sidestepped to the left and ran down an alleyway until I had come to a dead end. "NO!" I screamed. I couldn't do anything, he grabbed me and then It was all black.

2 comments:

  1. Love the range of sentence lengths, remember to not use random capitals in a sentence.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I really enjoyed your story Ashton. It had heaps of really good descriptive words.
    Next time make sure that it all makes sense.

    ReplyDelete

I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .

I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .