Monday 16 October 2017

🖤 Poppy 100WC T4W1 🖤


I was walking my dog, Jet, in the park across the road from my parents' house, when suddenly Jet started barking at something, I tried to stop him but he kept barking, we went over to what Jet was barking at but he kept barking towards the bush. I decided to go in through the bush but when I got onto the other side of the bush there was nothing there. I went back to Jet but there was a huge puddle that everyone was surrounding, I went over to it to see two upside down gumboots with legs attached.

6 comments:

  1. I really liked how the you wrote " I went over to see two upside down gumboots with legs attached" and wrote it last I think it really build the tension maybe next time you could add some more description in your writing.

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  2. I like that you gave the dog a name and that you said huge instead of big to describe the puddle. Maybe you could make the puddle more relevant to Jet's walk.

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  3. I really liked your story because of how you described things really well so I had a clear picture in my head of what was going on. To improve it maybe try and make walking the dog join with the puddle more.

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  4. I really liked your story! I especially liked the way you described things so that the reader could easily picture it inside their head. Same work on as Emma And Sam

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  5. really persuasive story Poppy this story sucked me in but maybe try adding a simile in there

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  6. love the story! but it ends with "I went over to it to see two upside down gumboots with legs attached" What happened after that?

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