Wednesday, 18 October 2017
Matthew 100WC W1T4
LOCAL MAN MURDERED AND DUMPED IN A SHALLOW RIVER
Local man John Johnson was murdered last night when he was on his way back home.
The man behind this all was spotted by a passer by, “I looked around the corner and saw the horrible sight he looked and saw me and started chasing me I thought I was next but I made it to the police station before he got me”.We do not know who did it because he was wearing a mask
And a knife.If you see any suspicious activity please tell us.
[Insert image here]
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I liked how you used commas but maybe next put spaces after your fullstops
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you did a theme of it being reported. Just remember to slow down because I don't think it made much sense were it said "he was wearing a mask and a knife because you cant really wear a knife.
ReplyDeleteI liked how it was a report. Next time you should make sure it makes sense and check your punctuation.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was a good idea how you had a recount from a witness and added some speech. As well as having the title in bold, as that gave a great effect. You do need to check you punctation, add a few commas ,spaces and change a capital letter. The only other negative thing was about ' he was wearing a mask And a knife.If you' you need to change this because it's not possible to wear a knife.
ReplyDeleteI liked your title and storyline.
ReplyDeleteNext time maybe you can make sure that your wording makes sense like: spotted by a passer by.