Tuesday, 24 October 2017

Corbin 100WC T4W2

I moved into my new house today and my next door neighbors house is really scary. It’s sunny over our side but then when you look at that side it’s dark, cold and there's lightning and thunder. It gives me the shivers. I walk up to my new next door neighbors house. I knocked on the door. No one answered so I opened the door and walked in. As I walked about five meters into the house I heard a creaking noise. It was the door. As the door slammed I screamed. Then I felt a cold breeze on my neck…
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3 comments:

  1. Katie25 October 2017 at 08:13

    I liked your story Corbin Hope you were ok inside that creepy house

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  2. Anonymous25 October 2017 at 17:27

    I liked your story but next time use some different words than just cold and dark. Make it sound more scary.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous25 October 2017 at 22:56

    I really liked the way you delivered a well written story. Perhaps next time you could use more descriptive words to hook the reader in and try to use more commas instead of using full stops so often.

    - Rylee

    ReplyDelete

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