One day can change your life forever. As for me that one day started on a chilly autumn Sunday. When the caramel coloured leaves grew on the trees, when I woke up to dim sunshine peeking through my bedroom window. At the time it seemed like the perfect day to go to Chloe’s house and relax in her humongous backyard, so I threw on my helmet and sat on the old bike. 10 minutes into the ride I decided to stop by the old pond just to bring back some memories. Worst decision of my life. I got to the pond and there it was. And I didn’t know what to do.
Tuesday, 17 October 2017
7 comments:
I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .
I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I really like how you used lots of adjectives, like caramel coloured leaves and dim sunshine, but at the end you could say what you saw at the pond.
ReplyDeleteI love your starting, everything about it. But on the last sentence maybe don't put the and in front.
ReplyDeleteHi im Paulina and your story is like the BEST!!! Read mine please http://elderclass.weebly.com/100wc/clumsiness-paulina#comments
ReplyDeleteGood story, I really liked the descriptive content you used in this piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story and how you used great adjectives maybe next time you could add a few more words on the end so people get a hint what it was.
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you used so much description in your writing. eg: caramel coloured leaves and humongous backyard. Maybe think about changing your ending to something more funny like the character falling into the pond. Overall a great story!
ReplyDeleteI liked your story. I especially liked how you used adjectives to make a good story. Maybe next time you could make your ending a bit more exciting.
ReplyDelete