7:52pm, bond street.
There is blood spread around the grass and track towards the lake.
We keep walking along track there seems to be two sets of footprints.
It is possible, one of the footprint tracks are of someone being abused.
We carry on towards the lake there doesn’t seem to be any more blood on the track. If one of the subjects is being abused they may be dead. We arrived at the lake and there appears to be a pair of legs sticking out of the water, which aren’t moving.
I really like how you made it a police report instead of a story, and gave the time and place. Maybe next time you could use more grammar and punctuation in your writing in places like 'We kept walking along track', and 'We carry on towards the lake there doesn’t seem to be any more blood on the track'.
ReplyDeleteI like how you did something different to most stories, maybe next time choose either past tense or present tense because I got a little confused when it said "If one of the subjects is being abused they may be dead".
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story! I especially liked the storyline and how you thought of a different idea by doing a police report. Maybe next time you could put a few more commas in, in different places.
ReplyDeleteI really like your set up of the story and I really like the idea. Maybe next time you could add more full stops and commas.
ReplyDeleteooooh spooky I love it. so you the police in it?
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading this because you thought outside of the box and did a police report. But remember to fully punctuate, as some parts of the story's didn't make sense like.... "We keep walking along track". Overall it was a really good story!
ReplyDeleteI liked the setup of your story!
ReplyDeleteNext time you could make sure that you are using the right tense like: are of someone who has been abused rather than being abused.