Tuesday 17 October 2017

Grace 100 WC T4W1

So I sat by the freezing cold lake for a long time ! ,  Wondering , thinking. Then I thought I wonder if I could do a handstand underwater. So I sat at the lake thing about this for a while then I thought why not not jump into the shallow lake head first and try land on my hands , so off I went to find a nice place to jump in the water. before i knew it I launched into the air , I don't know if it's because I thought about it for so long or because i'm actually jumping into the freezing lake but it felt like I was going in slow motion . As my hands finally hit the soft sand I felt my cold face smile as I had just done a handstand underwater.
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9 comments:

  1. Anonymous17 October 2017 at 20:19

    I think you need to use commas in the right place and use And instead so it makes sense. Also remember to use capital letters at the start of sentences. Other than that great story Grace

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  2. Anonymous18 October 2017 at 00:19

    Another well descriptive story Grace, Really liked the way you described the scene. Next time make sure to use commas correctly in the right places.

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  3. Anonymous18 October 2017 at 04:42

    I love the story but there are quite a lot of spelling mistakes. Double check next time but great story!

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  4. Anonymous25 October 2017 at 23:11

    Good story Grace, I liked how you used a imaginative approach to this challenge. Maybe next time make sure it makes sense. For example when you said 'so I sat at the lake thing about this for a while'

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  5. Anonymous2 November 2017 at 14:48

    I think you need to put your commas in the right place.

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  6. Anonymous2 November 2017 at 18:39

    I like the way you used adjectives like freezing and shallow to describe the lake. Next time you could make sure there aren't spaces between words and punctuation. e.g. 'time !' and 'Wondering ,'.

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  7. Anonymous7 November 2017 at 20:19

    Good work! I really liked how you used more descriptive words like launched instead of jumped. next time make sure you are putting capital I's instead of i. Eg: before i knew it .

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  8. Anonymous14 November 2017 at 19:53

    Nice story, I liked how you used some descriptive words.
    Try changing some lowercases to capitals and adding some punctuation.

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  9. Anonymous15 November 2017 at 20:11

    Great work, I liked your describing words.
    Next time maybe try to use more commas.

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