Tuesday, 31 October 2017
🖤 Poppy's 100WC T4W3 🖤
Tomorrow is my sister's 18th birthday, last year we celebrated it like usual but… things went wrong, very wrong, it was supposed to be a cool pool party but everyone was supposed to wear white but they wore black!? Another thing that went wrong was that my sister and her best friend were the only ones swimming in the pool, two of the people at the party decided to set the pool on fire, there were flames everywhere. My dad called the fire trucks. So obviously my sister wasn’t allowed to invite the people who did that to my sister.
7 comments:
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Nice story. I really liked the way you took time and focused on your grammar and gave the reader lots of information about the story. Perhaps next time you could use more descriptive words to describe the scene a bit better.
ReplyDelete- Rylee
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ReplyDeleteGood story. I liked the way you used the 5 words to describe the story. Next time just remember to use the right grammar in the right places.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you put past tense in the story , I thought you used too much of “My sister” especially near the end.
ReplyDeleteNice story Poppy, it was very entertaining. Maybe next time don't repeat as much.
ReplyDeletegood job poopy very entertaining, next time don't repeat as much.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story line
ReplyDeleteNext time double check that it all makes sense such as the ending.