Sunday, 15 October 2017
100WC WK1 T4 Alice
Thursday 20th of March 2018.
Lately there has been a report from the emergency rescue team involving a drowned man. According to his wife they were walking around the lake when suddenly Josh [the victim] slipped on a wooden plank and fell into the dark, murky lake. Rosemary [wife of Josh] rang 111 immediately and emergency services rushed to the scene. Luckily Josh survived and he had no major injuries. “ It was so scary as I had no control over the situation” says Rosemary “ I’m just glad that he’s alive”. Josh will hopefully be returning home in a few days.
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I really liked the way you set it out as it was a news story because it really fits in with the scene.
ReplyDeleteI am glad this story had a happy ending. I like how you used quotes.
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ReplyDeleteI loved the story Alice, I liked the way the story ended and I thought it would end differently. In my opinion it doesn't have any mistakes well done.
ReplyDeleteReally liked your story Alice. You had a really good outline to the story and you knew what you wanted to deliver to the audience. One question, did Rosemary help Josh out of the pond?
ReplyDeleteI love the story. Next time maybe use some more descriptive words like how you used dark, murky lake. Except from that there were no other mistakes.
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