Monday, 23 October 2017
Sam 100WC T4 W2
” Ready or not here I come!” I walk along the dusty wooden floor of the haunted cottage on Reagan Lane I felt a shiver crawl down my spine. “ I hate this game” I mumbled under my breath. While I was walking down the dim corridor i heard a loud BANG! As the door slammed I knew that my friends must in the room at the end of the hallway. I opened the squeaking door to find my friends lying down on the ground with their hands tied behind their backs. Do I run for help? Do I untie my fiends?
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I really loved your intriguing story line. Also the way you ended it with a question that let the reader create there own suspicions on what might happen next. The only thing you need to fix is, one I needs to be capitalised and one speech marks is the wrong way around. Overall Great story .
ReplyDeleteI think your story is great and has a lot of descriptive words but the only thing wrong I can find is that there is a I not capitalized.
ReplyDeleteI think your story is great and has a lot of descriptive words but the only thing wrong I can find is that there is a I not capitalized.
ReplyDeleteI really liked you story Sam. Loved the way you delivered your first line it made the reader wonder what would happen next. Just one thing make sure that the "i" is capitalized. Other than that great story.
ReplyDelete- Rylee
Hi Sam,
ReplyDeleteGreat work!I love how this post seems to be more than just a fun game. Can't wait for you to write more!
-Rhett