Monday, 23 October 2017
100 Wc W2
I was in my room studying hard for the next NCEA exam which was coming up in about a week when I heard the electric gate get pulled open forcefully. My parents were on holiday in Greece and no one was expected to come. I curiously looked to see what was happening when someone with a black balaclava on and a wooden baseball bat walked up the driveway, in a panic I ran downstairs to lock all doors. And ran up stairs to lock myself in the bathroom but as the door slammed, I knew I was in serious trouble.
3 comments:
I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .
I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I love the suspense at the end of the story Benji! Personally I think there should be a coma or full stop in between happening and when.
ReplyDeleteReally intense story benji, great job. Maybe use some better sentence starters instead of and or I.
ReplyDeleteGood story Benji. I liked the way you used your imagination in this story. About where your parents went and who came in your house. Maybe next time describe the character more before the plot.
ReplyDelete