A boy called John was bored with his life living on a farm so he decided to run away. When he was walking he found a creepy house and it looked like no one was in the house so he decided to break in and get some money and food. He wandered around in the house for a bit and looked at all the old things and he found some money so he was really happy. As the door slammed John knew the owners were in the house so he jumped out a window and ran all the way home.
Wednesday 25 October 2017
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I really liked the story because it had was an funny storyline, maybe more intreving words and better opening sentence.
ReplyDeleteGood Story James. Maybe next time describe more of the character, setting and plot before it happens. For example maybe describing where John lived, with what animals, more about his personality before you wrote about the run away. But I really like the funny storyline and John must have learnt his lesson!
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story! I especially liked the funny storyline. Maybe next time you could. Same work on as the others
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story because it had a funny story line. Next time you write maybe think of adding why he wanted some money and food.
ReplyDeleteI liked the story James! :D I loved the funny storyline that made the story more intersting
ReplyDeleteI really liked the story line. Next time you could have more tension around the part when the owners come into the house.
ReplyDelete