One freezing day me and my friend called Leon were playing a good game of soccer by a pond until a humongous bully called Levi said you guys are wimps and threatened us with his booming voice so we dared him to do a backflip. Levi liked to brag about his backflips so he did the backflip except he leant too far backwards and landed in a pond. We felt bad for him but it was also funny because he was stuck in the pond. We decided to leave Levi because he was a bully and we forgot about him.
Wednesday, 18 October 2017
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Nice story James like how you made it at a school and how it ended. Just think about adding a bit full stops in it.
ReplyDeleteNice story. Liked how you ended the story and used some good descriptive words like booming etc. Perhaps next time use full stops and use more hooked sentences to keep the reader reading.
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