Hi my name is Ralph and I live in the beautiful, exotic place called Sweden. Now I have a problem which I don’t know how to explain. I have a monster in my room. Yes, it’s true, I have a large anxious beast living in my bedroom closet. Every Night I just hear it scraping my door with its massive claws. Tonight i’m going to stay up to see what the beast really is. It was 2:00 am in the morning and I saw it. I tried to run but as the door slammed, I knew I was screwed.
Wednesday, 25 October 2017
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I really liked your descriptive words such as beautiful and exotic.
ReplyDeleteNext time you should add more commas.
I really like how you did you theme is was very different. maybe next time you could try to use more descriptive sentence starters.
ReplyDeleteI personally liked your describing words like: anxious and exotic.
ReplyDeleteNext time you could add more punctuation.
I liked some of the descriptive words you used. e.g exotic, anxious.
ReplyDeleteTry to get your capitals right, add some commas and make sure your sentence make sense.
I like your story Ryan.I like how you used descriptive words e.g anxious and slammed.
ReplyDelete