Monday, 16 October 2017
Bradley 100WC T4W1
I was walking around my farm, then I saw bubbles emerging from the swamp, next to the driveway by the pigs and cows. Curiously I walked over to the bubbles and saw a huge bullfrog staring at me with it’s yellow beady eyes. I was creeped out and started walking backwards. Walking away from the frog and tripped backwards and fell into the swamp behind me! I struggled to get out and get back my breath. It was like I was in a gooey type liquid. I suddenly emerged from the swamp and saw the bullfrog jump on to me!
Labels:
Bradley
3 comments:
I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .
I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Nice job Bradley,
ReplyDeleteI liked how you wrote it in a unique way, instead of being the witness you are the victim. Next time I think that you could use a hooking sentence to hook your reader in and use some exciting language to keep the reader engaged.
Natasha
Cool story Bradeley,
ReplyDeleteIt was very picture setting in my mind while reading this, maybe use more descriptive/ hooking language.
I really liked the storyline and how everything flowed together.
ReplyDelete