Wednesday 25 October 2017

Izzy 100WC T4W2


Screaming, growling, moody were the only words to describe my mother at this present stage. Her fury was burning a hole in the house and I didn’t know long it would be until she exploded. I didn’t know what I did? I honestly got home and she just started fuming, for no reason. She chased me to my room to talk about my “report”, like know big deal. She just yelled at me with a disappointed look on her face, then walked out in huff, and as the door slammed, I knew this was going to be a long night.

6 comments:

  1. I love your storyline how it could be real. Maybe next time just look over it just in case there are any words missing or there is no commar.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like your story line the first sentence catched my attention.
    Next time you could add more commas.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I really liked how you hooked me in with a descriptive sentence starter. maybe you should slow down to make sure your sentences make sense.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I really liked your story! I especially liked the storyline. Maybe next time you could add more commas and make your sentences make more sense.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I really liked the words you put in. But maybe next time check that your sentences make sense.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Izzy,
    Your creative way of telling this story is interesting.
    Use of descriptives especially at the beginning makes it attractive to your readers.

    Thanks for writing.

    ReplyDelete

I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .

I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .