Sunday 29 October 2017
Benji 100 WC T4W3
Mark only got 4 hours sleep last night but already woke up to an enemy charge of gun-fire. A molotov was thrown creating a huge flame encasing half of the muddy trench. It was 1942 on the western front. Tomorrow was the day they were meant to arrive home for a white Christmas but that never happened as the german aggression kept number of allied troops low. Mark had no ammo left and a german charge pushed back the lines. He ran for his life jumping in the lac du mont cenis a lake, and started swimming for his life.
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I really liked your story! I especially liked the storyline and how you linked ideas together to make a really good descriptive story. :)
ReplyDeleteI really like your story how it's in 1942!
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story because it was set in 1942.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the way you had lots of tension. Next time you could put a comma in places like after lac du mont cenis in 'He ran for his life jumping in the lac du mont cenis a lake'.
ReplyDeleteI like how you showed not tell where or what you were doing because it makes the readers think where you were
ReplyDelete