I walked towards Mr Eli's Candy Shop, I opened the door, it was a mess. There was candy everywhere, Mr Eli was nowhere to be seen. I walked towards the counter when I heard something, it was like a dog whimpering, I looked over the counter to see Mr Eli huddled up in a ball. I asked what had happened? He replied saying his shop had been burgled and he had been held at gunpoint, I asked him if he knew who it was but he said they had black masks on. Then I realized that they were still here.
Sunday 17 September 2017
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Good job! We liked your punctuation and complete sentences. Maybe add some more details when describing the burglar
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