Sunday, 17 September 2017

Grace

WOW ! slow down bro we're going to fast jimmy said jack. You call this fast were just cruising along .Bang ! oh I didn't see that rock it was just floating above us said jimmy. I told you you were going to fast , now look what you did you broke the spaceship said Jack. Look all of the lollie monsters escaped we were supposed to grop them off to jail but they all escaped said Jack .Good one jimmy this is all your fault I told you to slow down but you didn't. It's not my fault you should have told me to slow down early.
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2 comments:

  1. POPCS Media Lab23 September 2017 at 14:15

    Hi Grace, I liked reading the conversation in your story. I could feel some tension in the back-and-forth dialogue. Great work! One thing would be to try using quotation marks to set off the speaking parts. Hope to see you soon again in 100wc. :)

    Mrs. Peterson Team 100wc
    Texas, USA

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous15 October 2017 at 22:53

    I really liked the way you did the story, it was very engaging. Perhaps you could add some more capital letters names.
    xD
    Benji

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