Sunday 17 September 2017

Charlie 100wc T3W9

The sweet, sweet evidence.


Me and Zac race down the street. It’s dusk and we must get home before the dark surrounds us. We come up to the sweet store. The thought of little Jimmy McDermid sends a shiver down my spin. We speed down the back allies turning this way and that. Up ahead lies a buckets with is colourful contents tipped all over the street. We both stop to examine the bucket, emboss with McDermid family logo. Spill all over the ground was the assortment the sweets Jimmy use to deliver each day. Lying next to it a pool of blood trailing away.

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2 comments:

  1. I loved your creative title!
    Next time maybe you could make sure that you use the right words
    like: Spilt all over the ground not spill.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great story charlie I like the action. Next time make sure you make your sentences make sense for example 'me and Zac'

    ReplyDelete

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