The hike was hard and grueling, I was sure that my tour guide didn't know where he was going but we kept hauling on. We came to a small old shack that had apparently been there for 51 years. He said we were going to have a short break. So After about 20 minutes, we started again, he said it was mostly down hill from now.
But it started to get dark and it started to rain. I could tell that a thunderstorm was going to evolve. But all of a sudden a flash made me jump with terror sending me over a root onto the ground and down the steep Hill. I was alright so the tour guide said we will have to get out of here so he called 111 and the chopper took us off the top of the mountain to safety.
I loved the whole story it was so describing what happened but maybe use some similes and metaphors to have a even better story
ReplyDeleteI really liked the way you used some describing words like 'we kept hauling on' and ' hard and grueling'. I think next time, you should make your story 100 words;)
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