Sunday 3 December 2017

Connor 100WC W8 T4

Jack "quick" I commanded. The Coast Guard is out and we have way over the legal limt of fish! Start the boat up he's heading towards us. The boat hit full speed as we skimmed across the waves like we were on surf boards. when it reached the sand we could see that the Coast Guard was still heading towards us so we both grasped the side of the chilli bin and started running for it. It was at least a good Four Hundred metres till the exit where we could jump in the car, but when we finally reached the exit there was a big vicious tiger blocking our escape...
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2 comments:

  1. Anonymous6 December 2017 at 11:49

    I really liked the twist at the end of your story because it acted as a cliffhanger and left me wanting to know more. I also liked the level of description and that this description was so detailed, it made the story feel very real. I enjoyed reading this, especially because of how effectively you create tension, the story was dramatic and filled with action and this made it very fun to read. Great work, keep it up!

    Amii Bristol - 100 wc.

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  2. AEWKK12 December 2017 at 11:36

    Hi Connor,
    I like how you build suspense with vivid dialogue tags and verbs. You also make me want to know more by the cliffhanger, and I want to know how a tiger is near the beach!
    Keep writing:)
    Mrs. Kimball - Team 100
    A.E.Wright Middle School
    Calabasas, CA USA

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